After this semester I have one year of school left. That equals one semester of class work, a few HUGE tests to take and pass (Praxis 2), and one semester of student teaching.
...then...for the first time in my entire life...if God wishes...
I will be fully immersed in the mission field.
It'll be the first time that I won't be surrounded by Christians if I find a job in a public school. The first time where I'm not surrounded by "Jesus loves you", "God is awesome", and "I prayed for you today".
I'm not sure if I'll even know how to act, but I know my God WILL use me on one condition...I MUST be willing. I MUST keep preparing myself. I MUST be submerged in everything that involves God.
Church this morning is what brought on these thoughts. That whole take a piece of paper and write down 3 people you know that aren't saved and then write how you plan to reach them deal...
To be honest, NO I don't know 3 unsaved individuals. Here's the flip side... I've got family and friends full of problems/heartaches/screw ups...and they know who Jesus is.
So much harder is it, to minister to them, then to tell someone who's never heard the Gospel about the love Christ has for them individually.
How about those Aunt's and Uncle's you know? Can you honestly tell me that you have the guts to have that mature, "grown up" conversation about heaven and hell that ends with the question "So where Aunt ____ do you think you're going?"
My family makes me sick to my stomach when the thoughts ring true in my mind of how once you have heard...Christ has knocked on your door and your FIRST opportunity has passed if the door was not answered. Christ WILL COME at any moment and right now I know of some very close friends of mine and some family members who have heard and rejected those words of truth and hope.
They live in rebellion and denial of Christ's faithfulness and love. They search the world through every means possible trying to find something to fill the void...and every time they fail, they continue searching instead of turning away and coming to the realization that NO ONE but Jesus can give them the comfort they seek.
...how do you tell THOSE people...the words they have already heard so many times before?
...and when prayer doesn't feel like enough, once again God the Father reveals that it is...but you cry to Him asking why you can't make a decision for them, because your days are lived in fear as you think today may be the last and they still haven't chosen You...
Where do you turn? Prayer should never cease to exist. Every moment you take a breath should be another prayer of thankfulness for another moment to live.
I thank you Lord for you neverending faithfulness. I thank You for holding my fears in Your hands, my hopes dear to Your heart. I know You care and the love I have for You grows stronger every day. Thank you for the moment of clarity that You have allowed me to express. In Jesus name I lift up those closest to my heart as they need Your protection now more than ever. In the name of Jesus Christ, Devil, you have no place in my heart, my home, my life. Get out.
In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
"It's in Your hands, I trust You when I don't understand." -Krystal Meyers
-the fearful, Realist
P.S.
Great Grandma turned 101 yesterday. WHOA! I feel SO cool :)
This picture is of my cousin Reece and I during Christmas 2008. I love him :)
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