I have no idea what happens next with me. I know my selfish desire is to stay here in Kingsport with amazing friends and a church that is moving in the right direction. I just have no clue what the Lord wants me to do. I feel hopeless at the moment. I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a field and there is NO direction whatsoever on which way is the best way to leave the field. PLUS I LOVE THE FIELD...as stupid as that sounds. I like where I am.
Kingsport kids go back to school August 2nd. Any PE teaching job that opens closes by the time I get the application filled out. PLUS it is supposed to take 6-8 weeks before I get my VA teaching license. THEN I have to get it transferred to a TN license. It's so frustrating yet more of just disheartening. I don't know what I'm doing but I feel like the more I search the more hopeless things seem.
Yet if I don't search I feel I am not doing my part and being responsible to look for a job. Plus to even begin searching for a full time Worship position or full time Youth position is TWICE as hard to find as teaching.
Even if I don't find a teaching job, or ministry job, I HAVE to find a full time job of some sort...and it cannot be minimum wage. I did not go to school for 5 years to come out with a degree and then get paid minimum wage.
Lord I need You now. I cannot say more than ever because I am not dying. But I admit that I do not have the answers and I admit that even though I am in the middle of nowhere the light has not gone out. I can still see in front of me even though I do not know which way to turn. Lord speak to me in the midst of my great fear. Lead me in Your direction even if it is not what seems right to me. Above all else You reign.
1 comment:
Love you and praying for you friend! Your not as lost as you feel you are. He is faithful - and always our time, not our time. Praying things come quickly to you and wisdom in the decision making!
He has promise to never leave or forsake you!
<3 Lady in Waiting - Shannon
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