I have cousins on myspace who don't even want to be my friend and won't add me when I request. Why you wonder? Because they're embarrassed/ashamed of their ungodly lifestyle. Instead of giving me the benefit of the doubting and thinking that I love them no matter what, they expect judgment and assume that's all I'll give them. They have no basis for it since I've never done anything but love them. I hurt for them. They have no idea that it kills me inside to see how their wrong choices have led them so far from Christ.
It's. Killing. Me.
I have cousins who know the Lord in different ways. Their denominations are different but their actions are the same (and these 2 are different from the 2 mentioned above). The current 2 have no problem breaking the law with underage drinking. They don't see the big deal. They don't see it as breaking the law. They have an air of invincibility around them like they're never gonna get caught. Once again...it's killing me.
Family is EVERYTHING to me. You just honestly have no idea how it tears me up inside to not be close with those I wish to be close with. I would DO anything and GIVE anything just to talk with any of them one more time. Every time is worth it. Every little word that gives me an ounce more about your life is worth it.
Little by little you rip my heart out.
