No one listens when I talk and it's really starting to piss me off!

My tour of duty at E.C. Glass High School

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." - C.S. Lewis

I have worked extremely hard (and every day is still just as hard) to see through the eyes of Christ. I have worked to see people as an equal to me no matter what their speech or actions may represent. As the quote above says I believe in Christianity and the cross and redemption and grace because by it I can see clearly everything else.

The title of this has to do with where I find myself currently student teaching. I am in the midst of a war zone. Friday ended my first week there and I already cannot wait to leave. It is hard, exhausting and endlessly frustrating. These students do not care to learn, they do not wish to put forth any effort even when they are highly skilled in a specific area, and most of all they want to give MUCH lip and attitude about EVERYTHING I say.

It is hard to wake up wanting to go to school and interact with these students. I know of one who shows signs of being in a gang (the bloods) just by the way he wears his clothes.

Another has got to be gay.

One of my girls has a kid.

MANY are doing drugs and even more are underage drinkers.

Oh, and let's not forget the parties that are going on and you can let your imagination run with the amount of disappointing activity that is occurring.

"I’m at war with the world cause I, ain’t never gonna sell my soul" -Skillet

I walk against the current even as a teacher. It is hard to be positive and uplifting when other teachers are not. It's hard to not bust the students upside their head when they back talk me, refuse to listen, talk when I'm talking, text on their phone after I tell them to put it away, or refuse to take their hat off just because I asked them to take it off.

The ground is level at the foot of the cross.

And this is where I have to remain impartial. Every human in the Lord's eyes holds the same rights, yet I want to rank them when there is no standard below perfection.

Psalm 139: 1-5, 11-12

"O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.

I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night— but even in darkness I cannot hide from You. To You the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to You."

I had a blessing occur on Friday. I had a student who came into class 2nd period and approached me saying this:

"Ms. Partridge, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Normally I am very respectful and I want to apologize for my actions earlier this week. Could we please start over and start fresh?"

Then he proceeded to stick out his hand and said, "Hi I'm George*." (*Name changed to hide true identity).

WOW, after I thought nothing good could come from the week the Lord continued to surprise me and show me that I can make a different and He is still God and still on the throne and ALWAYS has the power to change a heart.

This is my prayer through this tour of duty, that You Lord, above all else, would reign.

When will the moment come when reality is better than my dreams?

What would it take?

Yesterday I went and saw the movie To Save A Life. How powerful the movie was. It was also incredibly intense the entire way through.

My heart was aching for the students in the movie the whole way through as I watched and I felt my emotions run high as many times throughout the movie I could feel my chest tightening as I held back tears.

There is something in the movie for every person to relate to. The cutter, suicidal individual, questioning person, content student who has dealt with the past, the longing to be accepted person, the student whose parents fight constantly, or the faker Christian. TAKE YOUR PICK. You're in there. You know who you are.

The movie is both heartbreaking yet hopeful all at the same time.

What would it take for you to make the decision to save someone's life just by saying hello?

The Lord is good and He is faithful and my steps on Earth are numbered yet SO FULL of PURPOSE.

This morning in church a series began called Life on Purpose. There are 3 types of Christians: fakers, fans, and followers.

Where would you place yourself? Do you like where you are at? Are you content? Are you striving to be more than the low expectation you have set for yourself?

2 Peter 1:3- "By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know Him..."

Godliness. Working towards becoming so like the Father that we no longer recognize ourself.

Lord I wish to pursue You every moment.

I fail daily, but my heart's desire is still YOU.

As Your love (agape) flows freely may I continually seek You.

You have given me everything I need. Thank You for never letting go.

> the Realist