You know the feeling of being in your element? That giddy feeling you get because of your inner excitement! Where the excitement turns to nervousness then back to excitement then you psych yourself out to actually make the first move and go! Where you start out timid and uneasy until a few moments in you realize you've got this (because duh, it's your element) so all the fear/nervousness/uneasiness turns into confidence and calm!
I love that feeling! For me it only happens with two things: teaching and leading worship. It's an awesome feeling and I've found it again! So thankful for this long-term substitute teaching position that the Lord has provided. I pray He will lead me to a full-time Health & Physical Education teaching position for this upcoming school year! Or a Worship Leader position would be cool too! Either way I love it when the Lord continues to make His plan bright and clear even when my next steps are impossible to foresee.
Living in the moment is NOT my strong suit. I guess that's why I'll forever be God's work in progress :)
> confident, Realist
Friday, January 21, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Sunday Lunch
Every Sunday is family lunch after church. It's ALWAYS interesting :)
Someone always: says something funny, gets mad, is sarcastic, etc.
It's your typical family except totally intimate because it's my family and I love them so much!
We always share something about church...most of the time the question goes something like "How was church?" and the answer is "it was church." Sometimes though we share that little nugget of how the Lord spoke to us...it's very rare.
Anyways, mom was talking today about what the guy said in Sunday school and it really hit me. People in the Bible like Joseph or Moses didn't know the reason why things were happening (or not happening to them) they just knew the Lord was in control. Nothing made sense to them. They didn't know where they were going or the purpose behind it. For Joseph, YEARS went by before he realized his purpose and for God's plan to make sense in his life.
You've got to keep going and seeking the Lord even when nothing makes sense. We NEVER KNOW what the Lord is preparing us for. Life is confusing but it only happens once. I have hope because there is hope in Jesus Christ. There is nothing like His love and I can't do ANYTHING to make Him love me more. I'm MADE in His image!!
Yeah, still a little fearful of what's coming next and IF something is coming next BUT I know it's coming and it's better than anything I could imagine.
...time to keep moving (even if it's just side to side because moving forward has yet to come). Keep trusting. Keep seeking Jesus.
> seeking, Realist
P.S. Don't fault me for my weaknesses...I am a work in progress. The day I die is the day my work is complete and His masterpiece is finished.
Someone always: says something funny, gets mad, is sarcastic, etc.
It's your typical family except totally intimate because it's my family and I love them so much!
We always share something about church...most of the time the question goes something like "How was church?" and the answer is "it was church." Sometimes though we share that little nugget of how the Lord spoke to us...it's very rare.
Anyways, mom was talking today about what the guy said in Sunday school and it really hit me. People in the Bible like Joseph or Moses didn't know the reason why things were happening (or not happening to them) they just knew the Lord was in control. Nothing made sense to them. They didn't know where they were going or the purpose behind it. For Joseph, YEARS went by before he realized his purpose and for God's plan to make sense in his life.
You've got to keep going and seeking the Lord even when nothing makes sense. We NEVER KNOW what the Lord is preparing us for. Life is confusing but it only happens once. I have hope because there is hope in Jesus Christ. There is nothing like His love and I can't do ANYTHING to make Him love me more. I'm MADE in His image!!
Yeah, still a little fearful of what's coming next and IF something is coming next BUT I know it's coming and it's better than anything I could imagine.
...time to keep moving (even if it's just side to side because moving forward has yet to come). Keep trusting. Keep seeking Jesus.
> seeking, Realist
P.S. Don't fault me for my weaknesses...I am a work in progress. The day I die is the day my work is complete and His masterpiece is finished.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Limbo
Ever heard the phrase "waiting in limbo". That's kinda how I feel. The Lord has provided an 8-week job teaching PE as a long-term substitute. I don't know what comes after that. I always try to see 10 steps ahead of what's happening. It's easy to live in the moment when things are happening! Whether it be a job, friends, SOMETHING...that makes it easy to just be. When NOTHING is going on it's incredibly difficult for me to just take things day to day. I'm not that type of person. I'm a planner.
Welp, the Lord has taken my plans and burned them. And I'm working with being okay with that...boy does it take time...and geez He sure is taking His time revealing my next steps. It's quite terrifying.
Have faith. Just trust the Lord. He's got a plan. It'll all work out in God's time.
It's frustrating to hear phrases like that. It doesn't change the fact I feel like I'm barely getting by. I don't want to BARELY get by with anything. I want to LIVE! I want to travel. I want to make lifelong friendships. I want to meet my best friend...and then marry him. I want to feel love. I want a dog and my own place. I want to support myself. I want a reliable car that I can travel out of state without worrying about and where I don't have to check the oil all the freakin' time. I want to make new memories. I'm tired of only being able to think about the past and smile...and then think that I may have missed my chance.
I need to feel like I've grown up. I need to feel like I'm not stuck in small town, living alone for the rest of my life. I HATE the phrase "well get out there and meet people". Um...THAT'S NOT EASY when you have decent standards.
I want to serve the Lord in the church. I want to find somewhere that needs someone to help lead them into worship. Somewhere I feel needed and not just another body to put on rotation. I want to make something!
I want to teach about worship and how the pastor shouldn't say "Thanks for the worship" BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T STOP AFTER THE MUSIC STOPS. I want to teach a lifestyle of worship and how skills aren't what allow you to play or sing on the stage...it's the attitude of your heart FIRST intertwined with your God-given talents and abilities.
Trusting the Lord, I am. UNDERSTANDING is a whole nother story.
God move me forward.
> Bending over backward, Realist
Welp, the Lord has taken my plans and burned them. And I'm working with being okay with that...boy does it take time...and geez He sure is taking His time revealing my next steps. It's quite terrifying.
Have faith. Just trust the Lord. He's got a plan. It'll all work out in God's time.
It's frustrating to hear phrases like that. It doesn't change the fact I feel like I'm barely getting by. I don't want to BARELY get by with anything. I want to LIVE! I want to travel. I want to make lifelong friendships. I want to meet my best friend...and then marry him. I want to feel love. I want a dog and my own place. I want to support myself. I want a reliable car that I can travel out of state without worrying about and where I don't have to check the oil all the freakin' time. I want to make new memories. I'm tired of only being able to think about the past and smile...and then think that I may have missed my chance.
I need to feel like I've grown up. I need to feel like I'm not stuck in small town, living alone for the rest of my life. I HATE the phrase "well get out there and meet people". Um...THAT'S NOT EASY when you have decent standards.
I want to serve the Lord in the church. I want to find somewhere that needs someone to help lead them into worship. Somewhere I feel needed and not just another body to put on rotation. I want to make something!
I want to teach about worship and how the pastor shouldn't say "Thanks for the worship" BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T STOP AFTER THE MUSIC STOPS. I want to teach a lifestyle of worship and how skills aren't what allow you to play or sing on the stage...it's the attitude of your heart FIRST intertwined with your God-given talents and abilities.
Trusting the Lord, I am. UNDERSTANDING is a whole nother story.
God move me forward.
> Bending over backward, Realist
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